watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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