So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have feelings that need drinking.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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