I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
