So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
