my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
