It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
