normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
