Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
