The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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