she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
