No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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