Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize