Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
