Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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