Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
