He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
