This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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