we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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