She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
