i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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