Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
