My nipple is on Facebook.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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