Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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