her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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