i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i barfeds in our rink
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
