i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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