At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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