I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
