There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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