Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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