but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
