Farmville is her only friend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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