p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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