I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
