im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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