well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
