so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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