wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
