know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Everything about him screamed your future.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize