i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
