meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
