I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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