Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
