So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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