You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
