so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
