Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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