I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
