I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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