At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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