how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
