My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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