my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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