guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
