i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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