i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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