Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The adults are the big ones right?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
