Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
