K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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