that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
