Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
