That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i out mim tonsoeep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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