The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
