I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize