kristin has been a bad kristin
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
